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Originally posted by phil3000
I did have a job as a pantomime horse ...I quit while I was a head !
I went to a Chinese restaurant the other night , I said "excuse me waiter , what's this fly doing in my soup ? ..he replied "the backstroke I think sir "
Later that night I called the waiter over, he came to my table and said " sorry sir my name is Li ".. I said Li ,this chicken is rubbery .Li replied "thank you sir I will pass your complement to the chef ...

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A bloke goes into a library and says:

"Where have all the chess books gone?"

The librarian replied:

"They have moved."

---------------

"They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian - they are not laughing now."

Bob Monkhouse.

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Originally posted by greenpawn34
A bloke goes into a library and says:

"Where have all the chess books gone?"

The librarian replied:

"They have moved."

---------------

"They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian - they are not laughing now."

Bob Monkhouse.
You hear the one about the hooker who had appendicitis? The sewed up the wrong hole. Now she makes money on the side.
I know, I know. 😳

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Originally posted by Great Big Stees
You hear the one about the hooker who had appendicitis? The sewed up the wrong hole. Now she makes money on the side.
I know, I know. 😳
This bloke went to the doctors .."Dr, Dr I have something wrong with my backside " .."drop your pants and lets have a look , ah said the Dr I can see the problem you have a bit of lettuce stuck up your bum ".
"O replied the man , just a piece of lettuce shouldn't be a problem then doc ? " .." Well said the Dr , normally it wouldn't be a problem but I am afraid it is just the tip of the iceberg.

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Originally posted by phil3000
I went to a Chinese restaurant the other night , I said "excuse me waiter , what's this fly doing in my soup ? ..he replied "the backstroke I think sir "
Later that night I called the waiter over, he came to my table and said " sorry sir my name is Li ".. I said Li ,this chicken is rubbery .Li replied "thank you sir I will pass your complement to the chef ...
A guest complains to the waiter: "there is a fly in my soup!"
he gets the reply: "Not so loud, maybe all the others want one too."

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Originally posted by Ponderable
A guest complains to the waiter: "there is a fly in my soup!"
he gets the reply: "Not so loud, maybe all the others want one too."
Something similar.

A guest complains to the waiter: "What's that fly doing in my soup!"
Waiter: "Looks like the backstroke."

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Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Something similar.

A guest complains to the waiter: "What's that fly doing in my soup!"
Waiter: "Looks like the backstroke."
Drowning😵

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how do you get 64 men in a sports car?

Put in a chess board

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How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you nuts? Only PA's change light bulbs....

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Do you know what you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?



Homeless.....


The urge to sing: "The lion sleeps tonight" is never more than a whim away.

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An old political one:

how will the GDR look like in 2014?

It won't be there it will have turned 65 and made into the west 😉

(This joke refers to teh fact that people older than 65 were allowed to emigrate into the FRG. In fact now we do have 2014 and the GDR has ceased to exist. Never underestimate the power of a political joke)

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Originally posted by Ponderable
An old political one:

how will the GDR look like in 2014?

It won't be there it will have turned 65 and made into the west 😉

(This joke refers to teh fact that people older than 65 were allowed to emigrate into the FRG. In fact now we do have 2014 and the GDR has ceased to exist. Never underestimate the power of a political joke)
Thanks for reminding me of this one, P.

Humour (and laughing at themselves) kept the German spirit alive in the GDR.

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santa claus, the easter rabbit, and a very intelligent blonde lady are walking down the street together...
at the same time, they all see a $100 bill lying on the sidewalk...

who gets to the money first???

none of them...
there is no such thing as santa claus, the easter rabbit, or a smart blonde...


A car battery walks into a bar.

The bar tender says don't start anything.

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