Objects in mirror...

Originally posted by @moonbus
... Trump has sufficient funds to cover it.

A cat has 9 ...

...mice, tucked away for a rainy day.


If it sounds too good to be true...

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
...mice, tucked away for a rainy day.


If it sounds too good to be true...

...have yer hearing checked immediately by a trained professional.

walk lightly...

Originally posted by @rookie54
...have yer hearing checked immediately by a trained professional.

walk lightly...

...fill yourself up with helium.


Life is a rollercoaster...

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
...fill yourself up with helium.


Life is a rollercoaster...

...don't get decapitated.

drive a wooden stake through his...

Originally posted by @rookie54
...don't get decapitated.

drive a wooden stake through his...

...heirloom tomato vines, before they sag.

When life serves you a bunch of lemons...

Originally posted by @wolfe63
...heirloom tomato vines, before they sag.

When life serves you a bunch of lemons...

...you become a sourpuss.

It's an empty can that makes...

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
...you become a sourpuss.

It's an empty can that makes...

Ameri-cans (not my joke - heard it many decades ago in Speakers' Corner, Hyde Park)

Keep your friends close...

Originally posted by @torunn
Ameri-cans (not my joke - heard it many decades ago in Speakers' Corner, Hyde Park)

Keep your friends close...

... and your family at arm’s length.

He who laughs last, ...

Originally posted by @moonbus
... and your family at arm’s length.

He who laughs last, ...

...is the same guy who doesn't get it, as last time.


Does your chewing gum...

Originally posted by @js357
...is the same guy who doesn't get it, as last time.


Does your chewing gum...

...know where your tongue's been?

Take a ride on the...

Originally posted by @wolfe63
...know where your tongue's been?

Take a ride on the...

..Wild Slide.

If you pay peanuts...

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
..Wild Slide.

If you pay peanuts...

... don’t expect to get Chateau Lafite.

What goes up, ...

Originally posted by @moonbus
... don’t expect to get Chateau Lafite.

What goes up, ...

...defies gravity.

You win some, you...

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
...defies gravity.

You win some, you...

... blame the rest on the incompetent nitwits around you.

Do not immerse in ...

Originally posted by @moonbus
... blame the rest on the incompetent nitwits around you.

Do not immerse in ...

...too meeny martoonies.

For prevention of...