Jokes

@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at 4am is realising some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

@Great-Big-Stees said
I asked the emergency room doctor if I could do my own stitches…he said, “suture yourself”.🤔

The Bermuda Triangle was a rectangle until one side disappeared.🤔

Someone stole my identity... and then sent it back with £100 and a note that said, “So sorry man. Hope things work out."

@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
Someone stole my identity... and then sent it back with £100 and a note that said, “So sorry man. Hope things work out."

Best thread 😄

I got a flat tire yesterday
There was a fork in the road.🤔😲😉

Money for nothing.... and the chicks for free? 🙂

Our mountains aren’t just funny
They’re hill areas.🤔😁

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.

When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that's a moray.

Do you know where I can get a toupee?
Not off the top of my head.🤔😉

I’ve never been married but
I’ve had a few Mrs.😲😉

Autopsy Club party here this Saturday
Open Mike night.

The Eiffel Tower and ticks
are both Paris sites.🤔

Edits: Damn autocheck 😡

Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader and became Ella Vader 😆