Originally posted by whodeyMan goes to a monastery and asks if he can become a monk .
A friend of mine was a philosophy major during his first semester in college. One day in a seminar class, they spent a great deal of time debating whether the glass was half full or half empty. After the class, my friend was feeling pretty good about himself and what he was learning at university, so when he went home, he tried to continue the discussion with ...[text shortened]... mpty." Without missing a beat, his grandmother replied, "Depends if you're drinking or pouring."
He was told that it's extremely hard and he must take a vow of silence for five years only speaking once a year and living in complete isolation .
The man agrees.
Just as the first year is about to end the head monk visits the man ...." you can only speak once a year ,what have you to say ?"
The man replies ...." it's a bit cold in here could I have a blanket ?"
The man gets a blanket .
Just as the second year is about to end the man gets a visit from the head monk ...
" you can only speak once a year what have you to say ? "
" it's a bit dark in here can I have a candle ? " the man replies
The man was given a candle .
The third year was about to end and the man gets a visit from the head monk ...
" you can only speak once a year what have you to say ?"
" I am a bit thirsty . can you get me some water ? " replied the man
The man was given some water .
The fourth year was about to end and the man got a visit from the head monk ..
" you can only speak once a year what have you to say ?" asked the monk .
" I don't think I can do this ,I would like to call it a day " said the man
" Thank God for that ,you've only been here for four years and all you've done is fooking moaned " replied the monk .
At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
Originally posted by sonhouseOOH I KNOW! a sexist, racist, homophobic lying (insert curse word here) , but the problem is that Hillary was also terrible. To the average redneck, these words from Michael Moore ring true.
Guess who the president of the US is.....
"People are upset. They're angry at the system and they see Trump — not so much that they agree with him — but they see him as the human Molotov cocktail that they get to toss into the system with Brexit and blow it up, send a message"
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, “As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children.” St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, “As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives.” St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, “I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care.”
St. Peter replies, “You may enter. But,” he adds, “you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell.”