Jokes

It was a good joke but would have lacked impact with a £ replacing the K ☹️

@woodgirl said
It was a good joke but would have lacked impact with a £ replacing the K ☹️

My good friend has been fired because he slept with one of his patients.
After 7 years of medical school, what a waste of time, effort, training & money.
This just goes to show one mistake can ruin your life.
It's sad for him.
He is a great guy & was a brilliant veterinarian.

@Kevin-Eleven
I assume you are a musician? Do you have anything on Soundcloud or reverbnation?
I am up to 273 tracks on soundcloud now, which you may already be aware of.
What kind of music do you play?

I no longer see my wife and kids. It's because of gambling. I won the lottery and moved to the Bahamas.

I like to play chess with old men in the park.

At times though, it is hard to find 32 of them.

The Tart asked the Vicar for an example of a saucy double entendre. So he gave her one.

@woodgirl said
It was a good joke but would have lacked impact with a £ replacing the K ☹️

@fmf said
A € would have maybe worked.

There was a nun having a bath. There was a knock at the door. She was a bit worried so she shouted out "who is it?" "It's the blind man." So, the nun said, "oh, ok, you can come in then". And as he came in, he said: "Hey, nice breasts. Where do you want me to put the blinds?"

dr rookie had to amputate a man's terribly damaged pinkie toe
he installed a prosthetic made out of breath mints
the man now has a tic tac toe

Wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Husband: Can we change the subject?
Wife: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

My inflatable house got a puncture last week. Now I'm living in a flat.

My son's school called me yesterday. The headteacher said my kid's had been acting up. I said, my kid acts up every day. Do I call you?

Tablets were replaced by scrolls. And scrolls were replaced by books. Nowadays, we scroll through books on tablets.