Originally posted by @great-big-steesIn the same vein:
To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.
Nrew traffic rules, people above 60 might cross at "red", people over 70 have to...
You know you might be a redneck if:
Your new sofa was on a curb in another part of town yesterday.
No crimes are solved where you live because all of the DNA always matches and there are never any dental records left behind.
Your TV gets 512 channels but you have to go outside to use the bathroom
Your satellite dish has more square footage than your home.
Your grandmother, mother, and daughter all have kids the same age
Your car burns more oil than gas
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You get home sick watching Cops.
You don't recognize several relatives when they are sober.
You come out of the bathroom and proudly announce to everyone: "Talk about your Mount Everest!" šµ
Originally posted by @whodeyOne of my favorites along these lines is the one about how we know the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi (anywhere else and it would have been called a "teethbrush"š )
You know you might be a redneck if:
Your new sofa was on a curb in another part of town yesterday.
No crimes are solved where you live because all of the DNA always matches and there are never any dental records left behind.
Your TV gets 512 channels but you have to go outside to use the bathroom
Your satellite dish has more square footage than ...[text shortened]... come out of the bathroom and proudly announce to everyone: "Talk about your Mount Everest!" šµ
So this woman gets ticketed by a police officer because she parked in the wrong area. When the officer tells her what she had done, she retorted, "Sorry, I never meant to break the law", to which the officer said, "I know, I saw the Hillary bumper sticker, so I'll just give you the handy dandy Comey warning this time"