- Joined
- 14 Mar 15
- Moves
- 29234
@ponderable saidCheeky in English. 🙂
The exasperated teacher tells the pupil: Go to the pharmacie and buy some brain!
Should I mention it is for you?
(Don't know how well this translates, it is funny in Suebian)
- Joined
- 18 Jan 07
- Moves
- 12477
@earl-of-trumps saidI dunno, I've seen videos I shoudn't have...
.
Why do dogs lick your nose?
Because they know you won't get on all 4's and pull your pants down.
@David-Burton
Conventional wisdom: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Mechanical Engineer: If it ain’t broke, consider adding more features.
@ponderable saidAlso software engineer.
@David-Burton
Conventional wisdom: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Mechanical Engineer: If it ain’t broke, consider adding more features.
The woman walks into a pet shop, and sees a parrot in a cage, separate from the other pets. And the price is marked $50.
"Why so cheap?" she asks the shop keeper.
" Well, he was raised in a house where prostitution was practised, and his language is not so good."
The woman thinks its still a bargain, and buys the parrot.
At home the woman makes him stand cage and all in the lounge.
At once the parrot says," Um, new madam!"
Later the womans daughters come home from school.
"Um, new girls!", says the parrot.
In the evening the woman's husband comes home.
The parrot goes "Hi, Bob!"
- Joined
- 18 Jan 07
- Moves
- 12477
@ponderable saidBanker: if it ain't broke, charge it money for not being broke. And if it is, charge it money for being broke.
@David-Burton
Conventional wisdom: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Mechanical Engineer: If it ain’t broke, consider adding more features.
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together and having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate for the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman who is checking out all the other men after calling them both “bloody w*****s”.
Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky, but hey are satisfied that at least the English are not getting any.
@Pianoman1
Two Swiss men and one Swiss woman determine to settle the matter via direct democracy, whereby the men gather on the beach and vote by the raising of hands, but the woman will not be allowed to vote until the year 2072.
Two Scottish men and one Scottish woman determine to settle the matter by holding a referendum, but first they have to hold a referendum to set a date for holding the referendum, but first they have to hold a referendum to determine the wording of the referendum, but the English won’t let them hold a referendum.
Two California men and one California women discover a field of wild hemp on the island. Nine months later, a child is born and no one remembers whose it is or knows what gender it is. They name the child “TwerpThing Zappa.”